Advice from a life coach: give yourself credit and celebrate the successes
The Life Reporter’s ‘Advice From’ column is a regular feature where we talk with experts from across the fields of life coaching, nutrition, health and fitness, seeking inspiration, advice and insight into their specialist areas of knowledge. If you’d like to be considered for inclusion in this feature, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
What is your specialist focus area that you help your clients with?
Health and happiness.
I prefer to call myself a health and happiness coach, rather than a life coach and so that’s where I focus my attention. While I can help people with specific things like relationship or career advice, the best way I can help is to stick to a specific area of life where I know people can achieve certain results.
What is the most profound change you’ve seen in a client of yours?
One of my clients came off anti-depressants, went back to work after being signed off, and is moving forwards with plans to start a family.
What process did you go through to facilitate that change?
I took a lot of time to get to know this person and what they really wanted. Understanding their ‘reason why’ is key to everything. What this person thought was their reason why – to lose weight, to be a certain thing they thought they had to be because of a number of events in their life – wasn’t actually their real why. This conflict had led to lots of muddled messages and they had thought themselves into a depression. Once we cut through and found the real strong reason why, which was the desire to start a family, things started to make sense and become clearer.
What is your favourite approach or tool for helping clients make breakthroughs?
I ask great questions and I listen better than I ask.
I also like to create a safe, thoughtful space and to invite my client to think clearly in the most productive way for them. Some people like to close their eyes, lay back and breath calmly, while others might prefer to be their feet to channel the right energy into their thinking.
I combine the various training I’ve had – with some of the best people in the world like Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, and in the UK Nick James, across NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), mindset training, motivation and more – with my own investment in personal development, and with my ability to ask great questions and know where the client needs to go. The key is to help them to get there themselves, not have me telling them the answer.
What would be your top three pieces of advice you would give anyone reading this that could help them change their lives for the better?
- Give yourself some credit. You’re alive and you’ve achieved things that you should give yourself credit for. Don’t be too hard on yourself as you are good enough.
- Fall in love with process, and don’t fixate on the outcome. There needs to be love in everything you do, even if it’s the most corporate thing in world. If you’re giving your time and attention to anything, there needs to be love put into it.
- Measure and celebrate your success. You should know clearly what you’re going to do to measure your successes, with the measurements being specific and tangible, and a mix of qualitative and quantitative. And you should figure out how you would celebrate, with whom, and what it will feel like. makes journey make more sense. figure out where we are, grasp of the journey but forget what happens at end. celebrate success as that’s what it’s all about
What has been your most important lesson so far that has helped you in your life?
Involve others to help you achieve your goal.
Why? Because it’s so important to have people around you who have ambition, motivation, and that bit of DNA inside them that makes them want to achieve. Our progress is much faster if we have people who support us, cheering us on.
The system I now use is: Firstly, to have someone who has already successfully achieved what we are looking to do that you can learn from as mentor or coach; secondly, to have people who are on same journey or at the same level as me to exchange battle stories with; and thirdly, have people who aspire to become something you can help them with by passing the lift back down again.
If you can get this combination right you have a recipe for success.
It’s also important to involve the person closest too you to make sure you can reduce conflict, guilt, confusion or frustration around your ambition. It doesn’t matter what their feelings about your focus area are, but rather it’s the person that matters and who they should support. Communication is key so they feel included. You know your partner best. The first thing is to be true to yourself then figure out how to put the right words in the right order to get message across to your loved one as you ask for love and support. Someone who is the closest to you would most likely share your own reason why and be able to accept it.
What has been a transformational point in your life?
I’ve had many moments in my life that have helped me figure things out. It’s still a work in progress and we all have stuff to learn. But about eight months ago I decided to do things differently and get my own coach to help me with my journey. Doing things on my own was ok, but I have goals that I don’t want to miss and I needed to move faster. I currently have two coaches to keep me balanced and true to my reasons why.
What made you become a life coach?
I started out in fitness as a personal trainer, but I’ve always been interested in helping people with more than fitness. I realised that it’s not as simple as just food and exercise. Where the confusion lies for people is in their thoughts. Understanding your emotions and connecting to your reason why are key if you want to feel healthy and happy. I’ve felt a strong pull towards helping people since I was 19.
How can a life coach help people, even those who think they have their life sorted and how would you advise them to find a good one?
Everyone has goals and ambitions and having a coach can help you achieve those goals with less frustration, less wasted time, less confusion and fewer mistakes, to help you get the most out of your life. Time is precious and we don’t know how much of it we have. We have to get the right people in our corner to support us through what can at times be a difficult and confusing life to get results for the benefit of ourselves and those closest to us.
To find a good one, do some searching or ask for recommendations, but make sure you speak to them or meet face to face and ask them questions about how they will help you, what they will do for you, what results you might expect and how they would suggest you celebrate success. You need to feel comfortable that you can work with them and trust them.
How do you think the view towards personal development might change over the next decade?
As a culture, the challenges we face today are very different from two generations ago. Now we are facing emotionally-based challenges, such as anxiety, depression, stress, and pressure so personal development is a way to overcome these challenges and more and more people are looking for answers to help them with their challenges.
We should all be investing time in developing ourselves, as it is the best investment you can make to help yourself move forwards, feel greater satisfaction, be healthier, happier and have better relationships and more.