Thoughts on Forgiveness

 In Blog

When I was trying to cut and paste something the other day, my computer had some kind of glitch and it kept repasting my last clipboard item rather than the one I was trying to use. Over and over I tried and kept getting this message flashing up at me:

“All forgiveness is self-forgiveness.”

I’d copied it to paste into my collection of thoughts in Evernote. But after about the 12th time of trying to paste something else I just had to laugh and see it as a sign that I needed to pay attention to this message.

It feels like a life-changing thought for me.

This idea of forgiveness is explored in the book Judgement Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein, which I’ve been reading.

If we’re angry or upset with a situation or another person, we can tie yourself up in knots thinking about it and continuing to feel angry and upset. But the other person has no idea you’re doing this. Who are we really hurting? Only ourselves of course.

Forgiveness will change that and free you up.

Her book quotes Lesson 122 in A course in miracles (not a book I knew about but I’ve just bought it) that says:

“What could you want that forgiveness can’t give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset? All this forgiveness offers you, and more.”

Easier said than done; believe me I know!

A big issue I had with this is that perhaps the other person shouldn’t ‘get away with it’ or it’s just wrong for me to forgive because it’s not fair, etc., etc. But she has an answer for that: Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone the behaviour or actions of another, that you stay silent about things you don’t agree with, or that you stick around if you’re unhappy. It isn’t suggesting you become a doormat! You can still act or try to discuss and resolve but do it from a place of calm and clear thinking.

How do you get to a place of calm? The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or tapping, I am finding is an incredibly helpful technique to help you release the heavy emotion tied up with any given situation that can then help you reach forgiveness. In fact, it’s how I ended up purchasing Gabby’s Judgement Detox book because I heard her speak on my favourite Bulletproof podcast with Dave Asprey about it and realised that she uses the EFT or tapping technique as part of her detox process.

Is there someone or a situation you’re currently angry or upset about? If so, perhaps thinking that quote that ‘All forgiveness is self-forgiveness’ and think about how it would help you if you can release that heavy emotion and find forgiveness to help yourself. If it’s something you’re keen to do, I’d definitely check out her book and/or tapping (I’ll write more on that in future).

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